She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We are all done wearing pants today
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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