I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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