I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
