she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
