I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Farmville is her only friend.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
