Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
