suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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