..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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