So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
