Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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