Dual....:-)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
