Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
