So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I am naked and annoyed.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
