Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
