He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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