the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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