after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
