Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I did not marry a roomba.
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