Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
