i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he puts the penis in happiness.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
