She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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