2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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