D3 body, D1 cock
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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