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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.

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• (+91): View more from India

  Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.

  (+91): View more from India

  what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?

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• (714): View more from California

  we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting

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• (239): View more from Florida

  We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious

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• (516): View more from New York

  I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole

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• (904): View more from Florida

  They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?

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• (562): View more from California

  Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness

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• (415): View more from California

  OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING

  (1-415): View more from California

  Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!

  (415): View more from California

  I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  His nipple licking is glorious

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