If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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