I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
