Little spoons don't ask big questions
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
