Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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