Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
