is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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