Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize