thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
