Jerry, you need to find god
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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