i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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