would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
