so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
