I am in a vortex of obligation.
I faked an abortion last night.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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