exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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