doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
