You're my little dorito
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
