wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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