i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
