in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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