I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
