what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
