Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
