Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
