Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
