So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
