There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
