you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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