oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize