What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
