you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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