so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize