I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My vagina is officially offended.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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