He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We need to get me chipped asap
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
