Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
