so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
