She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
