where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
