lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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