worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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